Stupid Commercials

I've had it...

I can't take the stupid commercials anymore. We see them all day long on television, but are we really challenging sponsors to stop lowering our IQ's by making us watch so much dribble. Sure, many of them are local sponsors with crappy budgets, but what about the people who made the 'Menthos' commercials. Those clowns got paid to do that. How? Who paid them? How did they actually get that job? Someone is making a living off of making crappy commercials, and all I'm saying is give me that contract.

Seriously, let's put this into perspective a second. Most of you have a pretty good idea of the kind of crowd I hang out with. Ok, most of you are the crowd I hang out with, so take a minute to reflect back on when we almost pee'd ourselves over taking something stupid and made it funny. Ok, I'll give you one - I was at "The Cheesecake Factory" with my parents when they were in town on their last visit. When the bill came my dad picked it up, and after looking at the total he said (with a straight face), "What is that? ....the phone number?" Was freakin hilarious. Now apply that to a Kentucky Fried Chicken advertising account, and you've found a genius commercial.

So how do we tell people that we're sick of bad advertising? BURGER KING! What's up with putting the gay king in bed with a guy. The guy wakes up to some narrator that sounds like some cracked up pot smoker from the 60's and acts like waking up in bed with a strange guy in a king outfit is no big deal. I would have punched that king in the throat right after I pissed myself!

Ever wonder what happened to WKRP in Cincinatti? Must have gone bankrupt, because the big cheese is now a Maytag repair man that obviously has no clue on how billable hours work.

By the way, was it ever any mystery that Wal-Mart is rolling back prices? No duh! Ask any hillbilly. Which reminds me how no matter where you put a Wal-Mart you will find the town rednecks. It could be in the middle of Beverly Hills, and sure enough, here's comes Jed and granny. That's for another post...

So how do you make good commercials. Ask any beer company. They seem to do alright. "Gary - Australian for Couch potato"

So what makes a good commercial? Intelligent humor works everytime. If you don't have that, you better find some swimsuit models, or make sure someone gets kicked in the gnads. Seeing people get hurt is always funny.

Bottom line, is that I could be a millionaire if sponsers would have asked me first. Seriously Quizno's. Think about it next time you put freaky radioactive rats with AIDS on national television.

-Gary